Much like beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, hate lies in the hearts of the hater! When one uses the word hate, it is not placed on to the object or person you hate, but rather creates an impact on your emotional and cognitive psychology. Thus polluting your psychology with negative impressions. The more one uses the word ‘hate’ for an object, person, animal or anything in general, the more likely this word creates a bigger space for itself and the negative emotions associated with it in our minds and heart.
The word ‘hate’ is used to disguise personal insecurities. Not all insecure individuals are ‘haters’, however all ‘haters’ are insecure individuals. The force of this word elevates one over the object it is used for; at times resulting in an ego boost or a superiority complex. People who ‘hate’ cannot stop ‘hating’ without exposing their personal insecurities.
There are 7 levels of ‘hatred’ the user of this word crosses. We use this word in order to express our dislike for some task, something or someone. The frequent the usage of this word, the higher the level of insecurity, negative emotions and degree of ‘hatred’ incorporated in one’s psychology.
‘Haters’ hardly ever hate alone. The feel compelled and motivated to entreat and convince others to ‘hate’ as they do. Peer support strengthens a sense of ego-boost and at the same time, validates one’s superiority complex, which reveals personal insecurities. People who are otherwise ineffective become empowered when they join this ‘haters’ club, which also diminishes accountability in people. This is stage one of this process also known as ‘collection of hatred.’
‘Hater’ clubs develop identities through symbols, practices, and rumors, which enhance participant’s status and, at the same time, humiliate the object or person of their hate. Club rituals, such as hand signals unite members. ‘Hate’ clubs, provides the ultimate sense of value and worth to life for participating individuals in it. This is the beginning of a bully in a school and life in general. This is the second stage of ‘hatred’ called the ‘defining a common hate.’ Individuals participating in ‘hatred’ give boost to their agony, anger and frustrating emotions.
‘Hate’ is the glue that sticks haters to each other and to a common dislike. By verbally debasing the object or person of their ‘hate’, individuals enhance their image in their own eyes, as well as lift their club status in their minds. The aggressive impulse increases with forming negative ideas and concepts about their object or person of hate. In other words, the more often a person thinks about this object or person, the greater the chance for aggressive behavior to occur. This is the third stage of ‘hatred’ known as humiliating the target. This stage is usually progresses into a more dangerous action oriented stage.
The fourth stage is known as taunt the target. This stage by name well defines the process. Hate, by its nature, changes incrementally. Time cools the fire of ‘hate’, thus forcing the ‘hater’ to look inward. To avoid guilt, ‘haters’ use ever-increasing degrees of expression and cruelty to maintain high agitation. Mocking and offensive signals serve this purpose. In this stage, ‘haters’ shout unethical slurs passing by or from a far distance. Here is where rumors also start coming in place. To validate one’s ‘hate’ towards an object or person, ‘haters’ tend to make up judgmental views and stories about the particular. This causes in addition of negative traits such as lying and hypocrite behavior.
The rise of the fifth stage is attacking without weapons. From taunts to threats, from humiliation to inhumanity, is used on daily basis over and over again, to break another person’s motivation, self worth and dignity. Everything these people do, to provoke vulnerable targets is to receive a reaction, that helps boost their anger and agitation. ‘Haters’ at this stage are forcing themselves to look and find reasons to ‘hate’ another person. Also their action of breaking another’s dignity gives them an adrenaline rush, which lasts for only a few minutes, however the effects of it keep coming back for days. Most ‘haters’ tend to continue recalling the same effect with their ‘clubs’ over and over again until they find another one.
Remember the bully who injured little jimmy at school? Probably because little jimmy had better grades than him, was a better sportsman than him or perhaps just more disciplined in class and teachers liked little jimmy. The bully however attacked little jimmy to just prove to himself that he was better than little jimmy. Our psychology is flawed with the concept of power. ‘haters’ tend to think being powerful is about physically injuring or damaging the other person. In the sixth stage of ‘hatred’ weapons such as bats, blunt objects, belts and others are used to physically abuse the target. Even something as little as chewing gum that this bully girl stuck in Marianne’s hair is physical abuse. The reason was simple, she ‘hated’ Marianne or was probably just jealous of her hair. Getting Marianne to chop her hair off gratifies her self-worth.
Dominance is what ‘haters’ seek and the ultimate or the seventh goal is to destroy the target. Physical mastery over an object or a person’s wellbeing, instills the ‘hater’ with supremacy. In turn, facilitating further acts of violence. With this power comes a great sense of self-worth and value, the very qualities ‘hater’s’ lack. Yes, uncle Ben was absolutely right telling young Peter Parker ‘with great power, comes great responsibility.’ If the villain’s parents taught them these traits, we would not require a world of heroes.
In reality, hate physically and psychologically destroys both the hater and the hated. Using the word “hate,” whether one mean it or not, spreads battle and conflict with the love that is also in an individual’s psychology. There is no good that comes directly from hate. By hating something, one allows that object or person to further bother him/her even more than it already has. Haters can only stop hating when they face their insecurities.
Most people reading this have come across at-least one of these stages of ‘hate’ in their lives. Are you one of the seven mentioned above? My suggestion to you is if you really “dislike” this something or someone so much, then let it go, allow it not to make an impact or a difference in your life. If you don’t then you are allowing it to control yourself, thus increasing your ‘hatred’ towards your own self.
Stay away from hate, keep loving, keeping caring and keep reflecting.